Triumph over Troubles
As much as I procrastinated writing my story, after discussing it with my mentor coach I realized the importance – the urgency – to get it done. I decided to label my story “Face Your Fears”! No sooner had I put my hands on the keyboard when I realized why I was avoiding it – I was afraid of what “gremlins” would come up if I began to write it! After some self-talk, I decided with conviction “I can do it!” I started typing… and facing my fears.
Maybe you’re wondering why you should bother reading this. Possibly you’re thinking “Meena is obviously a successful abuse and recovery coach, how could she possibly know how I feel and what I am going through?”
Let me take you back to 1992 when I first got married. Of course I had butterflies in my stomach for the first few weeks! Everything seemed wonderful. I felt that without my family’s true input or consent, I had made a very good decision on my own choosing to marry this man. But … my life was just beginning to happen.
Soon after we were married in June, I became pregnant. I remember it as if it was yesterday…and the tears still roll down my cheeks now. One day in October my husband thought, for no apparent reason, that the beautiful daughter we were expecting was not his. After he consumed a few drinks, he began to curse and call me names. He got to the point where his anger was aimed not only at me, but also on inanimate objects. Then the fight escalated to the next level — and he physically pushed me and shoved me!
Perhaps you are waiting for your partner to come home and you’re not sure what type of mood they will be in. You are afraid of a mental or a physical fight, yet you don’t know what to do to avoid it.
After years of accepting this type of mental and physical abuse I turned to alcohol for relief to numb the pain. I had no knowledge of the side effects of alcohol or how it affects us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Over time I drank more in each sitting, and of course more frequently, until I no longer could control how much I consumed. Once I started, oblivion was the ultimate goal! Eventually I began to experience blackouts, uncontrollable bladder failure, mood swings, depression, and worse.
Have you experienced any incidents similar to this? How do they make you feel? Do you wonder why these things happen? What do you think about moving on? Are you concerned there is not any help out there for you?
No one around me (not even my immediate family) realized what was happening as I progressed into the wraths of this disease. Making a decision not to seek help or tell others was unhealthy. I chose not to divulge anything to any of my family members because of the guilt and shame. Subconsciously through my inaction, I had made a decision not to do anything!
On a trip back from Canada there was yet another “turning point” in my life, after an argument with my husband – I was forced to look at myself and “face the fear” of an unsuccessful marriage. My dreams were shattered, and I knew deep down inside I must move on. However, being of Asian-Indian decent, I assumed that I would be judged and thought of as an outcast with my family. So once again the “fear of loss” and being alone gripped me, and I did nothing. As I continued to stay in a marriage that was emotionally, physically, and spiritually bankrupt – I “intuitively” sensed that a decision had to be made.
Are you nodding your head in agreement? Let me ask you: Do you think it’s your fault? If you do, then let me stop you right there! It’s not your fault! Just know that you are exactly in the place you are meant to be, if you are reading this! The only difference between you and I is that I am no longer being victimized and learned that asking and accepting help was the key.
Two years later, on Sept. 17, 2001, I finally asked for help from a director of a detox…and my journey of recovery began. I stopped perceiving myself as a victim and chose to take full responsibility of my fears, indecisiveness and lack of action. This was all injustice I caused to myself, my children, and family members that I loved the most! As I have learned since then through coaching, it is our own “beliefs” that cause our thoughts to turn into our actions/reactions.
Have you come to a place where you are ready to begin to understand who you are, to start to get in touch with your feelings, to become open, willing, and gut-wrenchingly honest with yourself and others?
Being an active member of a recovery program is truly an honor and a privilege to say the very least. The “unconditional love” that I was shown since I came into recovery is still overwhelming. Over time, I finally became ready to look at myself – by following suggestions and working a rigorous program of action. Today, I live in a sober household with my two teenage children – who I am so proud of for the set of values instilled in them by living this “way of life”!
All that is in my life today is there because I was able to face fears by living the spiritual principles which are the basic premise of our recovery program. I feel so blessed to have “gratitude in action” in most areas of my life. Today, I am “In Awe” of the woman I have become – confident, courageous, and committed to not only accepting myself just the way I am, but constantly allowing others to be who they are!
Are you thinking to yourself, “If Meena was able to do it with some simple suggestions, then why can’t I?”
My biggest adversity of being abused during the first seven years of my marriage turned out to be the source of strength which has revealed my vision in life – “To build coaching centers for individuals affected with abuse and/or addiction – worldwide.“ My deepest desire is to convey the message that you can get through anything in life… if you have the mindset to overcome it!
One of the most important lessons I have learned through my journey is “we can, I alone can’t”! So let’s walk together to overcome your life’s struggles, instead of allowing fear to become that obstacle. Let’s recover together as you discover the “true” you.
My hope is to be an inspirational force and an example to show all you need to do is make a conscious decision that you are sick and tired of being treated this way. Know that “I” think you are worth it! So allow yourself to connect with others and be guided to a healthier way of life.
Take that leap of faith with our coaching to discover the “true” you, and find out what it feels like to be “In Awe” of the life you will create!
Are you ready to create the life you crave and stop the hurt? Face your fears!